Protecting Our Kids From Monsters

How can we protect our kids from monsters - especially if we cannot recognize the monsters?

When I was a kid, life seemed so simple. With limited media and social media, it seemed that boogeymen and danger were always at a distance. I rarely remember hearing about all of the bad things in the world: the shootings, the sexual assaults, the child predators. I remember the extremes - and I probably had nightmares about John Wayne Gacy and his clown outfit. But now, and this is not an original thought, with media 24/7, it seems we are confronted daily with the 'ugliness' of the world.

In some ways, the informative media has probably made us way overprotective. I mean, this past week, my students were telling me how many of them have had cellphones since they were in 3rd grade - I got my first cellphone when I was almost 30. Why? So their parents can text them and keep track of them. We stayed out until dark; they are not allowed. We left doors unlocked; they do not. Blah, blah, blah... But I don't want to get into the cliched discussion about how life was simpler then and we survived without all of this overprotective safety stuff.

But the good thing, I always assumed, was that the media also helped us identify the monsters. Particularly in regards to our kids, we learn quickly about attempted abductions and places to avoid. We can search databases of sexual predators, and the news is filled with informative stories of predators causing dangers to our kids in various clubs and schools. This information, combined with my parental instincts, always helped me feel more comfortable making decisions for my kids.

But today I realized that the media and my instincts are faulty. Today I found out that a former colleague, a man I called a friend and greatly respected as an educator, was arrested for child pornography related issues and is facing a minimum sentence of 15 years in jail. I invited this man to my wedding (he wasn't able to make it), and he has a wife and children. How could I have been so wrong about him?

Look, teachers getting arrested for inappropriate behaviors is nothing new - we hear about them all of the time due to the vast media network. It is a black-eye on my profession, though I guess every profession has their bad eggs. But as a teacher, I have always looked at the mug shots of offenders and read about them - and thought, it is obvious they are monsters. Look at her - she looks like the kind of teacher that would sleep with a student. Look at him - he looks like the type of slime-ball that would pray on kids. Like most of you parents, I always judge any teen and/or adult I leave my kids with - and I usually felt I was pretty darn good at it.

I suppose that the allegations against this man could be a mistake. For his sake and for his family's sake, I really hope it is some misunderstanding. But the reality is that with computer records and footprints, the story is probably true. And that means that I have to come to terms with the fact that I got it really wrong this time. And if I got it wrong this time...that means it could happen again.

I am sick to my stomach with sadness. I am stunned. I spent most of today in some state of shock. I am so sad for this man's family, his kids, his former students. I'm disgusted at the possibility of this being true. And I am scared. Scared because how can I keep my kids safe if I lose the ability to recognize the monsters in the world?  The answer is: I cannot. We cannot. The world is filled with a lot of good folks - but there are also a lot of monsters. And it seems that if they are in our schools - the one place all of our kids should feel safe - that just sucks. Sigh.