Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Israel - July 2015 Post #3: Shorashim

After spending most of July in Israel, first leading a Birthright group of 22-26 year-olds and then 2+ weeks with my wife and two boys, I am filled with thoughts. The thoughts range from personal to political - and honestly, I'm not sure exactly how to organize them...so I figured that I'd start blogging to keep track of the different topics, and one day, maybe, I will revisit them and organize them in some coherent form. Until then, over the next few days (weeks?) I will type some stream of conscious thoughts about my July in Israel. The thoughts are in no particular order. Read on or not, up to you...


“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”
― Richard Bach

This is not a paid advertisement...

It's hard to believe that after 16 trips to Israel, 15 with Shorashim (the Chicago-based trip organizer that I've been a part of since 1987) that 28 years ago, I had no interest in traveling to Israel. None. My Jewish center was with my childhood camp in Wisconsin. To me, that was all the Judaism I felt I needed in my life. I mean, I learned about Israel and knew about it, but I never thought I'd be able to afford going there, so I probably rationalized it away as a place I didn't need.

So, how did my life change so drastically? The fact is that I decided to go to Israel for the first time in 1987 out of spite. True Story. After my final year as a camper in 1986, my friends and I had to apply for the first summer on staff - the summer of '87. We all went for our interviews; they were all accepted. I, on the other hand, was told that because I was a rambunctious camper, no more so than some of my other friends that were accepted mind you, that the director had to think about hiring me and that I'd need a second interview. I was embarrassed...and pissed. After 7 summers as an overnight camper, after being on the major board of the Chicago regional youth group, I felt like I was being jerked around needlessly.

Meanwhile, one of the youth group advisers I was close with, the founder of Shorashim, had been asking me to go to Israel on her program for a couple of years. I had always told her no, but this time, she told me that she would find me the scholarship money I needed to make it happen...and out of spite, I figured, screw the camp director, I wasn't playing his game - I was going to Israel. When I went for my second interview and the director slid my contract across the table, I politely slid it back and told him that I was going to Israel instead. I will say, I still get some pleasure out of the look on his face when I told him. His jaw dropped. Not many folks had the stones to call his bluff. And I was on my way to a life changing experience.

Israel changed me that summer. I believe it was meant to be and from that moment on, I fed on that experience. I was drawn to Israel. And from that summer on, I was dedicated to teaching about it. Of course, the land itself is amazing, but to me, Israel was about the people - it was about my brothers and sisters in Judaism - and those people were the defenders of my religion. The trip, in 1987, began with 5 days in Poland, tracing our Jewish roots from the ashes of the Holocaust. Rising from those ashes and then spending 5 weeks in Israel with Israelis taught me how important it was for us Jews to bond together and rise up from those ashes into a blooming flower in the Middle Eastern desert. I drank up that experience and it became my lifeblood.

Since then, Shorashim has given me my roots and a significant family in Israel. I already wrote about my friend of 28 years, Didi in the first Israel post. And since that summer, my roots and family in Israel and America have grown by the hundreds. I no longer feel like a stranger in the land of Israel. Whenever I am there, I run into people that are my family on a regular basis. (Spoiler alert: More on some of those folks from this past summer in the next blog).

Don't get me wrong, there are many good Israel programs out there, but Shorashim is different. The reason for that, in one word, is Mifgash. Mifgash is essentially the connecting of Americans and Israelis with the goal of creating a shared community - a bond with the Jewish homeland like none other. Shorashim's main thrust is Mifgash, and through those connections, participants not only learn about Israel, directly from Israeli peers, but are ultimately connected to Israel on a personal level. While other programs teach about Israel, from a touring/educational perspective, they are also built, in large part, to further their own community goals back in the states - to connect participants to a particular religious movement (Reform, Conservative, etc.) or cause. Shorashim is about being in Israel with Israelis. Those bonds create a permanent link to our homeland, and for me, create a home away from home.

Do other programs do Mifgash in some form? Sometimes. But when they create their Mifgash program, they attempt to emulate Shorashim. For example, I know of a participant on another program that tried to match the participants with an Israeli family for a Shabbat experience in Israel this past summer. That person did not feel connected to that experience on an interpersonal level because they had no real connection to that family; they didn't spend the whole trip traveling with those people and experiencing Israel with them. Likewise, some Birthright trips (10 day trips for 18-26 year olds) have Israeli participants for a few days. They become a novelty on those trips, there for a partial experience. Meanwhile, when I meet my groups in the states, the first thing I tell them is that we are not a group yet. We are not a group until we exit customs at Ben-Gurion Airport and meet with our Israel Achim (brothers) in a brief airport ceremony that only Shorashim does in public, at the airport.

Shorashim High School 2015
Need more proof? This past summer, at Birthright's Mega Event, an evening that Birthright organizes to bring all of the current Birthright groups together for a concert and program, the presenters spoke about Mifgash as a cornerstone of Birthright. Mind you, most of these groups only have partial Israeli participants. It wasn't the first time I heard this speech at a Mega Event. Clearly, Birthright values the Mifgash experience - and Shorashim is the organization, a small, Chicago and Jerusalem-based organization, that originated and perfected the concept. Birthright tries to emulate us!

And finally, during one program this past summer, one of the Birthright head educators joined us to observe. After the program, this man spoke to our group and bestowed upon us the ultimate compliment in my eyes. He said that after being with us for the better part of 2 hours, he could not distinguish between the Israelis and the Americans in our group. Essentially, we had achieved Shorashim's greatest purpose - creating a united community of Jews that spans oceans - bonded by a common religion, culture, and experience.

Where would I be without the gift of Shoarshim that was given to me? Honestly, I'm not sure. I do know that I wouldn't be who I am today. I do know that I wouldn't have the deep love of Israel that I have today. And I do know that I would not feel that what I am meant to do with this amazing experience is to pass on my love of Israel to others. I am so grateful for that chance, and I am so grateful for the amazing experiences I have had with all of my Shorashim groups, including bus #536 this past summer. To share Shorashim with such an exemplary group of young adults is a gift, an honor, and a privilege. For that and for Shorashim, I am eternally grateful.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Israel - July 2015 Post #2: Friends Part 2

After spending most of July in Israel, first leading a Birthright group of 22-26 year-olds and then 2+ weeks with my wife and two boys, I am filled with thoughts. The thoughts range from personal to political - and honestly, I'm not sure exactly how to organize them...so I figured that I'd start blogging to keep track of the different topics, and one day, maybe, I will revisit them and organize them in some coherent form. Until then, over the next few days (weeks?) I will type some stream of conscious thoughts about my July in Israel. The thoughts are in no particular order. Read on or not, up to you...

“Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.”
― Richard Bach

Can you tell with the Richard Bach that I'm feeling quite nostalgic lately?

Two regular topics in our educational community deal with the length and timing of the school year - so I am often asked if I support year-round schooling and/or moving up the start of the school year to have finals before winter break. My answer is always an emphatic, "No!" I suppose that shouldn't surprise those that know me - after all, I am a child of summer programming having spent exactly 2 summers at home between 1979 and 2000. Those 19 summers, and the subsequent summers I have spent leading Taglit-Birthright Israel programs, have had a profound effect on who I am and who I choose to be, and I seriously worry about future generations that are robbed of the opportunities provided by independent summer experiences. But I am not here to argue educational pedagogy with the 2 or 3 of you reading this, I am here to reflect on our Israel trip and share my thoughts with anyone that is interested.

The reason I bring up the summer experiences is because two significant gifts my summer experiences have given me are many friends and a connection to Israel/Jewish culture. In terms of friends, don't get me wrong, I have many good friends from growing up, from college, from work, etc. But the sheer intensity of summer relationships creates such bonds. Part of this, I think, is because at camps and on traveling programs, people are thrown into extreme, intense situations that cause the bonding experience to be expedited. When your ties to home are cut off, people have no choice but to cling to their new relationships (and let's face it, if a person is going to camp or traveling, they are usually craving those relationships anyhow - who wants to be alone at camp?). Because of close proximity, independence, and shortened nature of summer, these relationships are accelerated - so that often, these friends seem to know you better in the first moments you meet than many of our acquaintances know you over many years. We let our guard down easier at camp and we let people in quicker - and thus, so many important relationships, my close friends that are family, were formed in this manner. I won't list them all here at once, but I did have the chance to meet up with several of these friends, who are like family, this past summer. In my first Israel post, I wrote about the awesome experience with the Remez family.

Another one of my favorite parts of this summer was the time spent with my friend Rick and his wife and son. Rick is an old camp friend who made aliyah (moved to Israel) years ago. Over the past years, when I have been in Israel leading trips, Rick and I have made plans to meet up. Even if we had to stay up late, even if we were really busy - we made time to chat, to talk politics, to talk family life. But this year, not only did Rick and I have a wonderful breakfast, but our families had the chance to spend a Shabbat evening together.
Our families on Shabbat - 7.17.15
Shabbat is a cornerstone of Judaism. Most folks that have attended an Israel program and/or a Jewish summer camp will also tell you that Shabbat is among the most spiritual and special experiences. To share the first Shabbat Brandi, Ami, Nadav, and I ever spent together in Israel with Rick's family definitely ranks up there in lifetime moments. We live in different countries, we live miles apart, and yet our kids said Sabbath prayers together and played together as if there was not even a mile that separated our lives. After welcoming in Shabbat, we walked down to the beach and watched the sunset over the Mediterranean Sea while eating dinner. Magic.

In addition to Shabbat, sitting with Rick the following Friday eating breakfast, was again one of my regularly scheduled Israel events. I love Rick's passion for Israel, I learn from Rick's thoughts and passion, and I just enjoy connecting with someone that knows me, even though we have spent less time together than many of my other acquaintances. At times, I live vicariously through Rick's experiences because there's a large part of me that wishes I had the guts and a job that could support my family to live in Israel. Not that I am uncomfortable about my place in the USA, but there may always be some unfulfilled space down inside because I did not take advantage of studying in Israel or living in Israel long-term (more on that in a later post).

Rick and his family are wonderful people. His wife is friendly and kind, and his son is bright-eyed and mischievous. Again, not only friends, but people that I will consider part of my family. Those that spent years at summer camp, waiting through the year to be united with camp friends, you will understand the longing I am already feeling to spend more time with Rick, his family, and other friends. Luckily, I know I won't have to wait too long.

Memories like these remind me of how small our Jewish world is...and how similar we are as Jews around the world. I know my friend Udi would agree with the sentiment that there is no such thing as an Israel and the Diaspora (Jews outside of Israel) - rather, there are just Jews that live in different places. One of the things that bonds us is the ability to go anywhere and share culture and religiosity. Like above, even though our families had never spent Shabbat together, we fit like a glove, knew the same prayers, and shared the same customs. As Jews, those things create an unbreakable bond and make us more similar than different. I like that.

So, if we as a society, cut off future generations from such experiences because of concepts like year-round school and/or moving the school year to interfere with the summer, we may be robbing them of meaningful experiences that will affect them for the rest of their lives. I could also give you pedagogical reasons for giving kids a break from school for the summer...but if you're still reading at this point, I don't want to scare you away from future posts :)

Friday, August 14, 2015

Israel - July 2015 Post #1: Friends Part 1

After spending most of July in Israel, first leading a Birthright group of 22-26 year-olds and then 2+ weeks with my wife and two boys, I am filled with thoughts. The thoughts range from personal to political - and honestly, I'm not sure exactly how to organize them...so I figured that I'd start blogging to keep track of the different topics, and one day, maybe, I will revisit them and organize them in some coherent form. Until then, over the next few days (weeks?) I will type some stream of conscious thoughts about my July in Israel. The thoughts are in no particular order. Read on or not, up to you...

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah  

When I look back upon my month in Israel, I am sure that the people will stand out prominently. I would say that 90% of the places I visited and 90% of the activities I did, I had done before...so after leading 15 trips over the years, Israel, to me today, is more or less defined by the people in my eyes. So many of the people that I've traveled with in Israel over the past 3 decades have become a family to me. Like Bach's quote above, they are family of shared experience and love - even though we are not blood related nor did we grow up under the same roof.

With that being said, looking back on this July, it is about family to me - my wife, kids, and Israeli family. And one of the prominent memories I will have, centers on the number 28. You may or may not know that my first trip to Israel was in 1987, 28 years ago. Among the many awesome friends and events from that summer long ago, one of the most important relationships that has been an integral part of my life is the friendship with my "achi," my brother - Didi Remez.

During the summer of 1987, Didi and I became fast friends. The summer ended with him giving me the keys to his apartment, in a symbolic gesture signifying the hope that I would return and our friendship would live on. In 1995, after Didi was out of the army and I was done with college, that dream was fulfilled - I brought the keys back to Israel and to Didi and we worked as staff on a Shorashim trip. Over the past 20 years, Didi and I have kept in touch and our friendship has remained steadfast.  We have supported each other through ups and downs, visited and stayed at each others' houses, and celebrated together. In fact, Didi was a groomsman at my wedding, and though I was unable to attend Didi's wedding due to work, I have grown quite close to his amazing wife, Lilach.

My wife, Didi, and Lilach have spent time over the years as Brandi and I have visited Israel to lead various Birthright trips and for our honeymoon in 2003. During those times, we not only hung out with Didi, but grew to love his wife Lilach, like a sister of our own. She is an amazingly kind person, a superb cook, and an excellent judge of wine! The times with Didi and Lilach have always been special for us; however, this past July the four of us had the pleasure, for the first time, of introducing our 4 children to each other. After 28 years, it was amazing to spend several days with Didi, Lilach, and their children Aharon (8) and Avigail (6). In almost no time, my boys, Ami and Nadav (born within 3 days of Avigail), played together like they were long time friends.
Aharon and Ami (2015) & Me and Didi (1987)
It was amazing to see the older boys try to bridge the language gap, to see Ami try and speak Hebrew to Aharon, and to see that kids all over the world are quite similar - and engaged with technology. We spent time eating, building sand forts, playing soccer, swimming, laughing, and enjoying each others' company.

No doubt, watching the kids play and having our families together was awesome, but one of my favorite things to do in all of Israel, is to sit on a rooftop in Jaffa with my friend Didi and just talk. We had that opportunity a few weeks ago, and as always, I learned from Didi and felt the brotherhood we share across the oceans and miles between us.

In 1987, Didi and I vowed to each other that we would remain friends and that our doors were always open to each other. We have kept that vow and added families to the equation - I know that my life is the better for it.

I am so grateful to have amazing 'family' in Israel. Didi, Lilach, Aharon, and Avigail are part of my Shorashim - part of my Jewish roots - and every bit a part of my family. I am so thankful for the times we have spent together over the past 28 years and I look forward to the day when all 8 of us can once again be together - be it in Israel or Chicago.