One Day at a Time...

 

12.21.21

The truth is, it seems that the weekends after my treatments are going to be rough. I should not be surprised, and no one told me that this battle would be easy, but if I'm being honest, on Sunday I was feeling like I had had enough. The thought crept into the back of my mind that I do not think I can feel like this another 10 weekends. I happen to have a fairly high pain threshold, but 48-72 hours of nausea is no fun and it takes a mental toll...it's a whole different ballgame.

One of the first goals Brandi and I set when this fight started was to be able to find a way to schedule Chemo so that I had a good shot at feeling well enough to make it to my niece's bat mitzvah in Florida. We were not sure that would happen over the weekend. On top of feeling awful, I had the double whammy of watching Brandi take care of everything in prep for our trip. She had to do laundry, pack all of the kids, ensure the house was locked down, arrange for mail pick up, and more.

Long story short, I woke up feeling on Monday feeling decent enough to make the trip and we made it here to be with family and to relax. We all tested negative before we left. We have an airbnb, my brother in law's pool club, and outdoor eating. We aren't playing tourist, we are not doing anything 'high risk" with Omicron running wild and my immune system in flux. We are just hanging out. One day at a time. Enjoying family time.

One day at a time. Like I said, on Sunday, I was down. On Sunday, things were dark. But the great thing about our world is that sometimes, when you need it most, the Wheel of Fortuna spins and things start looking up. And it was while we were sitting in our seats at the airport gate, that an old friend, his wife, and his son rumbled on over. It was so good to see them, to have a hug, to catch up, to chat about how I was feeling. My friend's response - "One day at a time." It is easy to forget, but that is so true. Fight through the bad day or two, move on to enjoy the next. So here I am, 80 degrees, in shorts, with family.

But that was not the only uplifting moment yesterday. Another old friend happened along and was also on our flight. This person was a participant when Brandi and I were madrichim (counselors) on Shorashim in the summer of 2000. We are in touch, but I'd never caught up with her in person - and seen her in mom mode with her 2 beautiful young children. And so, by the time our flight took off, the nausea was in retreat and my heart was full of friends, memories, and the promise of the day.

*I withheld the names of my friends in case they are sensitive to publicity in this day and age.

I should also mention here that even though I was still feeling 'okay' at the time, Laina and Patrick visited me for a few hours on Friday. Friday is the bridge when the 48 hours of chemo drugs are finishing and the nausea comes on. I feel really fortunate that they were in town and able to spend a few hours. I need my people. It makes a difference - and that is true for those I am lucky enough to see in person, and for those that are there that make their presence known in so many different ways whether it be sending a 'heart' text or inviting me to watch football. Y'all are my lifeline.

**I meant to add a special thanks to the lovely people that brought us Shabbat dinner Friday. It was delicious and a big help given the tough weekend!!

Fortuna smiled upon me this week when I needed the wheel to spin. I hope that it also smiles upon you and yours at this holiday season. Live every day - one day at a time - and love and rejoice in each other. And if I don't blog before then, Merry New Year to you all!

#GetScreened
#GratefulFighters

P.S. Thanks, Brandi, for getting us down here. You are everything.

Jinx - Buy Me A Coke!

 12.8.21

Yes, I'm going to jinx it. Well, I don't really believe in jinxes (unless I'm putting the hex on a late game free throw shooter at Assembly Hall in Champaign), so I'm safe...I think.

But first, I was inspired to write today because I received the following message a few minutes ago:

It is so awesome to see people hearing our message to #GetScreened and #EarlyDetectionSavesLives. To be clear, it's not the first message like this I've received, but this one just came at a time when I could gather myself to write a bit. That being said, I love, love, love getting these messages whether they are just telling us that they just got their procedure scheduled or whether they just finished the procedure. This is the type of thing that lifts my soul, and it's also the type of thing that I am writing about as we work on final steps to bring #GratefulFighters to life. We are already making a difference and that means something - actually, it means a shit-ton to me. So please, continue to reach out and tell me your successes with scheduling your required annual physicals, mammograms, colonoscopies, and more!

Oh, yea, I got lost kvelling (it's Yiddish, look it up) about my awesome friends using modern medicine to maintain their health and I almost forgot about jinxes...

I feel good. It took a few days post-chemo, but I feel good. You knew that I would...

Here's what cycle 1 of Chemo looks like so far:
Tuesday Blood Work - Feelin' fine.
Wednesday Chemo Day - Feelin' fine
Thursday Pump Day 1 - Nausea and Exhaustion creepin' in
Friday Pump Day 2 - Steady nausea and exhausted
Saturday/Sunday - Steady nausea and as much bed time as possible
Monday - Rough start, but feeling human by lunch time.
Tuesday/Wednesday - No nausea meds needed, fully at work, kickin' arse and takin' names.
Thursday through next Wednesday (Chemo 2 Cycle) - Continued feeling groovy!

JINX!

Not.

Love you all. Continually grateful for your love and support!

Keep spreadin' the good word on screenings!

#GratefulFighters

PS: Yes, I tried to find the 1984 SNL clip with the Jinx, Buy Me a Coke skit, alas, I was unsuccessful other than finding it on archive.org at about the 20:29 mark with Billy Crystal, Mary Gross, and Julia Louis Dreyfus.

After Review....

12.2.21

I will admit. I wasn't going to post this today. It feels a bit narcissistic, constantly writing about myself.  My apologies for that. At the same time, my original impetus for writing was to make sure that I recorded the memories for me and for my kids/family to have one day...

Yesterday, I was privileged to drive 2/3 of the boys to school - I enjoy those moments even more these days and I have learned to cherish even the 'quiet' times when they are still waking up. If you're a parent - you know how those teens & preteens need their wake up time! Ami is particularly sensitive to what is going on these days. He made sure to tell me that he hoped my chemo went well and that I felt as good as possible. He also got himself a ride to and from his pre-tournament weekend warm-up game at Niles North. Knowing that I wasn't going to make it to St. Louis this weekend to watch him, I really wanted to make it to the game, but Ami assured me that it was okay if I was not up to it. They really do grow up....eventually.

From drop off, I drove right to Glenbrook Hospital for the first treatment. I sat in the parking lot for 5 to 10 minutes, just gathering my thoughts. I happen to know a friend's wife who was also starting Chemo at the same time, and I said a prayer for both of us. I hope to one day be able to celebrate with her!

I knew right away that Brandi and I made the right choice going with Northshore. Everyone was incredibly welcoming, kind, and informative. My doctor enthusiastically shook my hand and shared my desire to get the fight going! I showed him the #GratefulFighters sweatshirt and, without hesitation, he asked me to let him know as soon as they were available. The doc, each nurse, the pharmacist, the nutritionist, and a social worker, each spent as much time as I needed to explain things step by step and to answer all of my questions. I know I won't see all of those staff members once this is regular, but it made me extremely comfortable.

Quick details for those that want to know. My blood work all checked out and so I was cleared for Chemo. The Chemo starts with anti-nausea meds and steroids for 30 minutes. Once that is done, I wait for 30 minutes for those meds to settle in my system. Apparently, the steroids end up bolstering my energy and since they last through the 2 days of the pump, the first two days aren't as 'tiring'. The possibility is that once the pump is out tomorrow, I will 'crash' for a bit.

Next, I spent 2 hours hooked up to the Oxaliplatin Chemo drug that breaks the DNA of cancer cells and prevents growth of new ones. When that is done, the pump of Flourouracil is hooked up to my portal. This is another cancer drug. The pump is about the size of small water balloon. They tape the line to my chest so it doesn't get tugged out, put the pump in a fanny pack, and sent me on my way.

There are a bunch of potential side effects to all of these drugs. I won't go through them all, but I am keeping notes (I'm sure you're not surprised). The relevant one right now is cold sensitivity. The nurses made a big deal of suggesting I have gloves handy because even the cold steering wheel in the car may cause pain. Yesterday, it was not really cold enough to bother me, but I did pick up a few pairs of those little knit gloves at Walgreens on the way home. I put one by the fridge and one in my jacket pocket.

They also warn that the cold sensitivity can occur orally. I was really hungry when I got home and I grabbed some pretzels and hummus. I didn't consider Hummus to be a cold food, but let me tell you - they were not lying. One bite of the hummus and I had shooting pain in my mouth for about a minute. Needless to say, I won't make that mistake again. Later on, I chose a soft bagel to eat. Apparently, the first bite of food can cause jaw pain as well. That has happened a few times over the past day. Subsequent bites are fine...but ouch, that first bite is so painful at the joint of my jaw. But that's it. And if those are the only things that happen, I figure that's a small price to pay for beating this thing. A little mouth pain is NOT going to deter me from my battle. I have too many memories to make with my brilliant wife, amazing kids, family, and friends.

Sleeping with my BiPAP and the pump wires was a bit tricky. But according to my Fitbit, I slept about 6.5 hours. Not awful! And I woke today feeling pretty good. All in all, not a bad first day!

Maybe none of the above is that narcissistic as it's just informative...but here's the part that is most important to me. As you all know, I love watching my sons engage in the activities they love. Right now, Nadav is playing basketball for his school team and will start winter soccer soon. I'm excited to see him play basketball now that his broken finger is healed.

Ami, as I mentioned above, is back playing soccer with his awesome FC Mirage club and they have a tourney in St. Louis Saturday/Sunday. Since I can't go to St. Lou, my goal yesterday was to be well enough to drive to Niles North (about 25 minutes away), to watch Ami's game. Well, I made it there. Ami has grown immensely as a player in the last 2 years. He's stronger and faster, and he's a pleasure to watch when he's focused. I am so proud of him in so many ways, and his play on the pitch is no exception.

Anyhow, during the game, I was having some daydreaming/flashbacks to when I was in high school. Niles North was in our conference and in the Fall of 1987, I played at Niles North and scored a goal there. I imagined how cool it would be to see my son score a goal on the same field. Amazingly, later in the first half, that dream came true. It was a bit surreal because sometimes I forget how fast Ami has become (when healthy). But there he was, flying in from the wing, taking a pass, and powering it past the goalie. I'm not afraid to admit that it brought a tear to my eye. I love seeing my kids find success in doing what they love. I am proud of each and every one of them.

The game ended 1-0.

Game winner for Ami.
Game winner for my buddy, (You know who you are), who had his colonoscopy with a positive outcome!
Game 1 winner for Me vs. Cancer - I'm doing the Chemo and I've got this.

#GetScreened
#EarlyDetectionSavesLives
#GratefulFighters


**The goal linked here was from a GBN game this fall. Last night was a similar play but instead of passing, Ami took the ball more toward the goal and shot.

And there's the narcissism ;) Thanks for indulging my kid brag.