Israel - July 2015 Post #2: Friends Part 2

After spending most of July in Israel, first leading a Birthright group of 22-26 year-olds and then 2+ weeks with my wife and two boys, I am filled with thoughts. The thoughts range from personal to political - and honestly, I'm not sure exactly how to organize them...so I figured that I'd start blogging to keep track of the different topics, and one day, maybe, I will revisit them and organize them in some coherent form. Until then, over the next few days (weeks?) I will type some stream of conscious thoughts about my July in Israel. The thoughts are in no particular order. Read on or not, up to you...

“Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.”
― Richard Bach

Can you tell with the Richard Bach that I'm feeling quite nostalgic lately?

Two regular topics in our educational community deal with the length and timing of the school year - so I am often asked if I support year-round schooling and/or moving up the start of the school year to have finals before winter break. My answer is always an emphatic, "No!" I suppose that shouldn't surprise those that know me - after all, I am a child of summer programming having spent exactly 2 summers at home between 1979 and 2000. Those 19 summers, and the subsequent summers I have spent leading Taglit-Birthright Israel programs, have had a profound effect on who I am and who I choose to be, and I seriously worry about future generations that are robbed of the opportunities provided by independent summer experiences. But I am not here to argue educational pedagogy with the 2 or 3 of you reading this, I am here to reflect on our Israel trip and share my thoughts with anyone that is interested.

The reason I bring up the summer experiences is because two significant gifts my summer experiences have given me are many friends and a connection to Israel/Jewish culture. In terms of friends, don't get me wrong, I have many good friends from growing up, from college, from work, etc. But the sheer intensity of summer relationships creates such bonds. Part of this, I think, is because at camps and on traveling programs, people are thrown into extreme, intense situations that cause the bonding experience to be expedited. When your ties to home are cut off, people have no choice but to cling to their new relationships (and let's face it, if a person is going to camp or traveling, they are usually craving those relationships anyhow - who wants to be alone at camp?). Because of close proximity, independence, and shortened nature of summer, these relationships are accelerated - so that often, these friends seem to know you better in the first moments you meet than many of our acquaintances know you over many years. We let our guard down easier at camp and we let people in quicker - and thus, so many important relationships, my close friends that are family, were formed in this manner. I won't list them all here at once, but I did have the chance to meet up with several of these friends, who are like family, this past summer. In my first Israel post, I wrote about the awesome experience with the Remez family.

Another one of my favorite parts of this summer was the time spent with my friend Rick and his wife and son. Rick is an old camp friend who made aliyah (moved to Israel) years ago. Over the past years, when I have been in Israel leading trips, Rick and I have made plans to meet up. Even if we had to stay up late, even if we were really busy - we made time to chat, to talk politics, to talk family life. But this year, not only did Rick and I have a wonderful breakfast, but our families had the chance to spend a Shabbat evening together.

Our families on Shabbat - 7.17.15

Shabbat is a cornerstone of Judaism. Most folks that have attended an Israel program and/or a Jewish summer camp will also tell you that Shabbat is among the most spiritual and special experiences. To share the first Shabbat Brandi, Ami, Nadav, and I ever spent together in Israel with Rick's family definitely ranks up there in lifetime moments. We live in different countries, we live miles apart, and yet our kids said Sabbath prayers together and played together as if there was not even a mile that separated our lives. After welcoming in Shabbat, we walked down to the beach and watched the sunset over the Mediterranean Sea while eating dinner. Magic.

In addition to Shabbat, sitting with Rick the following Friday eating breakfast, was again one of my regularly scheduled Israel events. I love Rick's passion for Israel, I learn from Rick's thoughts and passion, and I just enjoy connecting with someone that knows me, even though we have spent less time together than many of my other acquaintances. At times, I live vicariously through Rick's experiences because there's a large part of me that wishes I had the guts and a job that could support my family to live in Israel. Not that I am uncomfortable about my place in the USA, but there may always be some unfulfilled space down inside because I did not take advantage of studying in Israel or living in Israel long-term (more on that in a later post).

Rick and his family are wonderful people. His wife is friendly and kind, and his son is bright-eyed and mischievous. Again, not only friends, but people that I will consider part of my family. Those that spent years at summer camp, waiting through the year to be united with camp friends, you will understand the longing I am already feeling to spend more time with Rick, his family, and other friends. Luckily, I know I won't have to wait too long.

Memories like these remind me of how small our Jewish world is...and how similar we are as Jews around the world. I know my friend Udi would agree with the sentiment that there is no such thing as an Israel and the Diaspora (Jews outside of Israel) - rather, there are just Jews that live in different places. One of the things that bonds us is the ability to go anywhere and share culture and religiosity. Like above, even though our families had never spent Shabbat together, we fit like a glove, knew the same prayers, and shared the same customs. As Jews, those things create an unbreakable bond and make us more similar than different. I like that.

So, if we as a society, cut off future generations from such experiences because of concepts like year-round school and/or moving the school year to interfere with the summer, we may be robbing them of meaningful experiences that will affect them for the rest of their lives. I could also give you pedagogical reasons for giving kids a break from school for the summer...but if you're still reading at this point, I don't want to scare you away from future posts :)